Having feelings for a guy is scary. The fact that the deep dark abyss that is my soul is now filled with elation makes me want to pump the breaks and run away. Even though he treats me well and we have this indelible chemistry, I always have this lingering incredulous skepticism which stems from my past relationshits with men. And I’m slightly anxious it’ll fuck up my future GOOD relationships with men.
It’s funny how I’m always so quick to spar, don’t give too many fucks anymore about getting physically hurt. But when it’s ANYTHING to do with feelings, I just avoid it completely because I don’t want to get hurt.
I’m actually not soulless, I’m just scared